From Party Animal to Role Model

By Craig Considine – People in my generation have created a culture where short skirts are the norm; where breasts hang out of ‘tube-tops’; where women can get drunk and flash themselves without embarrassment; where women are seen and treated more like sexual objects rather than companions; and where pornography and the degradation of women is all over the Internet. Meeting Nicole Queen and her tremendous amount of self-respect for her mind and body is something very admirable and is a character trait that American women and men can learn from.

In high school and college, I spent a lot of my social time with friends and fraternity brothers; thus I became acquainted with the party scene and ‘Greek Life’. From the male side of the spectrum, I saw that women were often verbally disrespected and physically treated as sexual objects. Men, on the other hand, were more interested in pursuing women for their bodily parts rather for their mind, soul and love. The problem is two-fold – men and women can’t respect each other if they don’t respect themselves.

Nicole’s impact on my own character and conduct was profound. Hearing her story and realizing how relevant it was to what I have witnessed in my life was a real eye opener. Women, as she noted, should be treated with respect and should be loved and admired not just for their ‘outer beauty’ but their ‘inner beauty’. If a women dresses provocatively, she is essentially asking for the wrong kind of attention from a man; she noted that the more skin a women shows, the more she wants to be treated as a sexual object. Therefore, women have a certain responsibility if they wanted to be treated with respect (and vice versa).

I came away from our conversation with a newfound respect for women and a sense of how women should be treated but also how women should act. A women’s beauty is two-fold; it’s physically beauty but also depth of character, sense of self-respect, and a sense of honor for mind, body and soul. Now I walk around in public and look at women through a new lens. Sometimes I ask myself ‘Why does she dress like that?’ What is she asking for? What is she implying? The kind of women that is truly beautiful is the one which doesn’t have to dress provocatively, one that can be beautiful without showing skin, one that is confident, respectful and humble, and one that thinks intelligence is just as important as beauty. This is what I found in Nicole and that’s why I’ll never forget meeting her.

Craig Considine


9 responses to “From Party Animal to Role Model

  1. “If a women dresses provocatively, she is essentially asking for the wrong kind of attention from a man; she noted that the more skin a women shows, the more she wants to be treated as a sexual object.”

    I think that is dangerously close to saying that if a woman is sexually assaulted, her manner of dress could be said to have brought on that assault. And that is just flat out wrong.

    I feel like she’s almost saying that if any woman wants to be treated with respect she must be completely covered from head to toe. There’s nothing wrong with covering yourself if that’s your choice, but women should be respected IRREGARDLESS of their dress.

  2. Ms AlleSanDr|a

    That’s the power of wearing a Hijab…to be respected 🙂

  3. Necmeddin Güney

    “Women should be respected IRREGARDLESS of their dress.”
    This sentence is a fantasy. This will never happen due to biological reasons.
    Modernism has taken advantage of the reality that man are visually much more affected from women and women would give anything for being appreciated. So modernism combined these and now a western woman thinks that she can be appreciated only with her beauty/sexiness…

  4. Necmeddin Güney

    The result for women:
    Dressing, fashion, make-up, face- lifting, diets, anorexia, parties, clubs, illegal drugs, etc…
    And the result for modernism is Money, Money and more Money…

  5. I would like to offer to journey family, after i watched this movie, i thought i should ask to this family. i wish that, if someone can write a book about (firstly american) converted people life. i mean it will be really helpful and great, if these new muslim brothers can share their opinions about what they felled, what has changed after conversion? why did they change? what are they planning to do for their religion, or what can they do? and so on..
    that kind of book not only will help people who are trying to understand muslims but also will enhance old muslims faith, as well. because i have borne as a muslim, and may not know my religion worth as a new muslim. or in a talk show program if they can explain their life and explain what is islam?.
    thanks journey family

  6. Pingback: news and update « Journey Into America

  7. Pingback: Why are so many white women converting to Islam? « Journey Into America

  8. Voice of Reason

    Good for her. However, I wonder if she would be so eager if she didn’t live in America.

  9. Pingback: My diary: 1 year, 100 cities, 75 mosques, and one question… « Craig Considine

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